Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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