problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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