Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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