would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
