U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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