So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
