You just made me feel so damn special
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
