the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
