Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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