I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize