Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
