She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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