Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize