Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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