I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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