I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
