also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
