When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize