Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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