what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
