I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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