At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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