Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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