with your own penis?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
