Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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