In the future we'll all be gay
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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