i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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