Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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