you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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