new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
