Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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