Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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