her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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