walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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