the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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