I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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