but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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