He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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