So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You smell like stripper and shame
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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