His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
