Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
