just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
