Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
how drunk are you?
Several
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
