i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
