I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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