So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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