I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
