I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
