My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
