forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
