There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
