I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
