I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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