Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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