what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
