She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
