That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
