my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
