Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
