I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Farmville is her only friend.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
